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Wednesday, 15 May 2013

The Heart of the Matter

Following the whispers of my heart is the whole basis for why I do what I do. All the reasons behind why I left my position with the Health Region, why I went to massage school and why I choose to work from home stem from the need and desire to follow my heart.

A number of years ago during my time at massage school I discovered the joys of CranioSacral therapy. In 2011, I began to take this interest seriously. When I finally jumped in with both feet and completed my first techniques level class (CS1 - CranioSacral Therapy 1) in September of that year, I came home feeling excited and inspired. It was like the clouds opened up and the sun was shining for me alone!

Taking that class was another turning point for me in both my life and in my work. It was then that I fully came to realize that traditional oil massage wasn't for me. I knew even in massage school that I wasn't really all that interested in therapeutic - my shoulder hurts, please fix it - kind of work. I had no interest in locating my practice in a clinic or medical type setting, and certainly no interest in dealing with WCB or motor vehicle type injuries. Instead, I have always leaned towards a more holistic, mind body and spirit kind of approach. An approach that favours listening to the body and asking to work with it gently instead of against it with force.

So following that first cranio class I began to transition current clients away from the massage work. I put it on the website and out to the Universe that any new clients would be interested in cranio sessions and that if they wanted traditional oil massage I would gladly refer them elsewhere. This intention and practice has been quite effective and has worked very well with most of my clients and the business. It has been and continues to be my pleasure to refer people out to other therapists who are better able to provide them with the services they are seeking.

Over the past 2 years I have continued to evolve in my passion and interests for CranioSacral work and have continued to drift further and further away from traditional massage therapy. Having recently been through a great personal challenge and a physical transformation of my work space (including renewing my business model), I am feeling fairly comfortable and secure in continuing with my current direction and path.

This brings me to the Heart of the Matter. You see, I have always honoured my original clients wishes. If my original massage clients tried CranioSacral and didn't enjoy it, then I have been gladly providing them with the traditional oil massage as standard practice. The challenge I am now facing is that I no longer enjoy those few massages that I do give.

So though I have been conflicted between loyalty to my original clients and what I know deep down inside, I have continued to provide these select few massage services. What I have been doing to myself really hit home for me this past week when after returning from retreat, I had booked two 90 minute massages almost back to back. (What the heck was I thinking?) I found myself pulled away from my usual upbeat and joyful state and into a place where I felt heavy and full of a sense of obligation. It is when I land here, in this state, that I know for sure something is amiss. I end up feeling tired, becoming injured and having an overall sense of dissatisfaction.

I can do better and I will do better. So in my journalling time this morning, I posed the question: What do I do? How do I change this cycle? The answer - which of course I already knew - was clear. If I have transformed this much over the last few years and the business has transformed equally so, then by nature I am only holding myself back by refusing to let go of something that no longer calls to me. I am limiting my own success by holding on to something that I no longer enjoy doing, which goes against everything that I stand for.

So with a deep breath and a heart full of gratitude I offer to you THE TRUTH. It is what you deserve and it is what I deserve.  Many of you come to see me because of my honesty and passion for what I do. You are also aware that if my heart isn't in it then something is missing with the service. So here it is, point blank: traditional oil massage no longer calls to me. If you are interested in a delightful, profound and relaxing CranioSacral session then I would love to have you on my table. However, if you are only interested in oil massage then I am afraid that I can no longer provide you services. Though I will be disheartened to see you leave and hope that one day you will return (for CranioSacral), in the meantime will be happy to refer you to some amazing massage therapists elsewhere.

Thank you for reading this post. Thank you for your understanding in the process of transformation and moving forward and thank you for helping me to be the best therapist that I can be! My heart is so full of gratitude for each and every one of you, thank you ever so much!

Love and Light,
Heather.